[摘要]1．Another 40 Years to liveA middle aged woman had a heart attack and was taken ...
1．
Another 40 Years to live
A middle aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God, she asked if this was it. God said, "No you have another 43 years, 2 months, and 8 days to live." Upon recovery the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face lift, lip-suction, breast augmentation, tummy tuck, etc. She even had someone come in and change her hair color, figuring since she had so much more time to live, she might as well make the most of it. She got out of the hospital after the last operation and while crossing the street was killed by an ambulance speeding to the hospital. Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 40 Years? "
2．
有人找你
一位农民正巡视果园，他突然发现在一棵树苹果树上有一个小男孩。“好小子！叫你偷苹果，你等着，我去叫你爸爸来！”他喊着。小男孩抬头看看树上边，叫道：“爸爸，有一位先生要找你说话！”
3．
刚便便了没人擦
今天我看见外甥光着屁股在厨房门口哭。
我抱他坐我腿上玩一会后问为什么哭？
他说：刚便便了没人擦……
4．
邻居甲：“你和妻子和好了？昨天我看见你们和睦地在一起劈柴。”
邻居乙：“朋友，那是我们在分家具呢。”
5．
咸猪手
公交车上，一猥琐男子对身旁的年轻女子伸出咸猪手，女子察觉到后立即张口吃了起来。